A conversation I just had with a Scammer

This is a true story, it happened 20 minutes ago :)

Phone begins to ring, Tobi sees it says Private International, an idea races through his head… he picks up the phone

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Hello?

SCAMMER: Hello, we are calling on behalf of Microsoft Windows. Do you have a Windows computer

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT):  Windows, yes! I have lots and lots of shiny clear windows, they light up my house very nicely!

SCAMMER: No… I mean Microsoft Windows, on your computer

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Oh, that, yes yes, I do

SCAMMER: It has been reported that a virus is being sent around just by opening up Internet Explorer

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): I don’t use Internet Explorer

SCAMMER: Oh, it can happen on any browser

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Oh okay, what do I do?

SCAMMER: Well first we have to check to make sure you have the virus

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): And how do we do that?

SCAMMER: Move your mouse pointer down to the bottom left hand corner of the screen

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Oh okay… Almost there, I’m there!

SCAMMER: Now click on either a button that says start, or the windows logo

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Okay

SCAMMER: Move your cursor up to where is says computer, in the left column

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Okay

SCAMMER: Right click on computer

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Okay

SCAMMER: There should be an option that says manage. Click it.

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Okay

SCAMMER: A program should open, and on the left hand column is a list of items, what are the items?

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): It says… sys… sys…. System Tools, Task Scheduler, Event Viewer, Shared Folders, Local Us…

SCAMMER: Click Event Viewer, some more options should now be available, what are they?

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Custom Views, Windows Logs, Applications…

SCAMMER: Click Windows Log, there should now also be an option called Application, click that

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Okay

SCAMMER: Now a list of information should appear, scroll down and tell me if you see any red or yellow symbols next to the information

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): No, no I don’t

SCAMMER: You have to scroll down

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Oh, okay.

Tobi scrolls, and he sees the red and yellow symbols, but he knows from friends telling him about this scam that they don’t mean a thing and they won’t harm your computer

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): No, I just scrolled through the whole thing and there isn’t any.

SCAMMER: Okay, click on the option that says system, and scroll again

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Okay

Again Tobi scrolls, seeing the red and yellow symbols, but knowing they mean nothing.

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): No

SCAMMER: Hold on for a second

Weird Indian music plays for a few minutes

SCAMMER: I am back, I have just asked my manager, and there should be at least 5 yellow symbols, if there aren’t any yellow symbols, or if there are red symbols, it means you have the virus and you will lose everything on your computer

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Oh No!

SCAMMER: What we can do though, is we can email you a free special virus program which will get rid of your virus, all we need is your credit card details to prove you own that copy of Windows

TOBI (INDIAN ACCENT): Okay, okay… Let me go get my credit card

Tobi stays at the phone, but doesn’t speak.

TOBI (Now in a deep manly voice): Hello, I am Officer John Smith from the Australian National Police, please be aware, that this call has been traced and we are coming to get you. You will be locked in Jail for the rest of your life, or even worse, face the death penalty, on cases of fraud.

SCAMMER: No PLEASE I’M SORRY!!!

Scammer hangs up.

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  • #telemarketer #scam #scammer #funny #phone #aboutme
  • 3 years ago
  • 31
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